Paralysed By My Own Existence
I have always been a deep thinker, I something think so deeply I get lost in my thoughts and can’t find my way back to the real world.
I fall from a great height into an endless subconscious sea of thought where I am surrounded by dissected mismatched logic waiting to pieced back together atom by atom, and I am trapped from the surface of ‘reality’ which seems a long way up where I know the sun is shining, I can see it, I can feel the heat, If you could hear the sun it would sound like a military parade, but I cant choose to swim back up to the surface, my mind decides to do it, at any time it chooses only without warning.
So amongst my collection of what I hate to describe as ‘poetry’ that I write (yes I still have the ability to write with pen and paper, ancient I know!) when I fall into this trance thingamajig, I wrote this one on Monday and thought I would share it with you.
This, Existence, It
Here.
How do I know for sure the universe exists?
Unless I witness it through my own experience.
My eyes. The windows to all that be.
When my eyes close forever, existence will stop.
Reality is a lie. It’s not real.
Its not here.
The being, witness to what?
Why am I here, am I actually ‘alive’?
Am I really seeing, this?
How do I know, this is?
Physical is a lie
the body, flesh, soul, smell & touch
existence is nothing but imagination
the universe.
everything that is all
its ‘matter’, yet
the universe and its parents tree
is nothing but imagination
yet imagination is in the mind
and mind has nothing to do with the body
the body is physical.
Are we real?
All comments are welcome, otherwise I wouldn’t have shared this. ![]()
I am Changing My Name To “Giles” And Going To Become a haematologist addicted to Tranquilizers
Call me completely psychologically detached from the living world, and I will agree with you after you read this!
I wear both glasses and contact lenses, always have done from the age of 11, and every year I have been getting blinder and blinder, my eyesight is deteriorating and will continue until I eventually go blind and then will eventually have to rely on a catdogthingymagig to help me live my daily life until I eventually decided I no longer wish to breath.
However, I have been wearing contact lenses since I had sixteen rings on the tree trunk, and before that wore good old spectacles (I hate that word, it makes me think of an old man named Eunice who likes aubergines and philanthropy). From 16, it was then about style, look, and self confidence so I resorted to the microscopic magical water implants and wore daily lenses up to this moment now, in-between however wearing glasses for both the benefit of my eyes, and occasionally just wanting a break from the hassle of taking lenses in and out twice a day, because I am lazy like that and I don’t give a flying turd about admitting my laziness.
I have commeth a moment in time of absolute dismay and aghast!
Why is it every time I wear my glasses, my personality instantly switches from the normal daily intoxicated Samjam with a mouth that can fire ten years worth of military ammunition within 1.6 milliseconds at the speed of light, and with the power of spectacles transform to a personality that of a middle classed man named Giles who has the appearance and mentality of a temazepam overdosed haematologist that has the same sense of humour as a tin of corned beef?
Weird, I know! I even tried to manipulate it by telling myself nothing has changed except the fact I can see better, but no, what’s left of my brain didn’t listen to me and I suddenly became very quiet and chilled out, increased productivity at work, concentration increased dramatically, and somehow my accent switched from my natural uncontrollable “Norf London innit” accent, to that of a middle class man brought up posh but lived in north London for a while!
I am genuinely freaked out by this, and no matter how I try to manipulate my subconscious into thinking nothing has changed except a slight improvement in sight correction, I just cant be how I normally am, its like the film The Mask with Jim Carey, except its not the magical mask ime wearing, it’s a pair of £500 Emporio Armani goggles I purchased from Vision Express.
If anyone reading this has experienced the same thing please please please please please comment on this post or email me, or send a message by carrier pigeon if you have to, because I have never heard of anybody else having the same experience.
So now you can vote and give me your opinion on this anonymously…….
Interview Goes Wrong……..
I am seriously on the floor laughing my ass off at this video i keep playing it again again agin again and again!!!!!!!
Akmal Shaikh : 4.5hrs to Execution
right now, its four and a half hours until the Chinese government execute 53 year old UK citizen Akmal Shaikh of London UK, by firing squad.
If they do carry out the sentance, despite the appeals made by the British government, this will be political suidide for China, and will just demonstrate how backwards their government is when it comes to handing out justice appropriately.
The idiots.
Amazing!
This is Sophie Koch (French Mezzo Soprano singer) the photo taken to advertise her stay the Royal Opera House and was plastered all over the London Underground.
I had to post this photo because i think she is absolutley stunning here, if i ever had a wife, she would either be Sophie, or look exactly like her in this picture.

The Universe Is Big!
This is one of a hundred videos i have been viewing today, but this is the one that gets straight to the point of what i have always beleived.
So please watch it, because the best points of this video is towards the end, but it wont make sense unless you watch it from the begining.
All comments are welcome positive or negative.
Enjoy
Random Post Panic! must post something (sh*t!)…
So I thought I would be random today and do a quick post, but couldn’t think of anything I could do quickly, and then I had a light-bulb moment!
I will just post all of my facebook status updates from this week, yeah I know its sad but I am already writing a post about something that I have been researching since Sunday and I don’t want to write about something that I don’t have all the facts and basic knowledge of, so here you go!
(bear in mind this is a complete contradiction to my last post regarding Facebook lol)
Sam A M Décort Rhiana’s new collection of vommits on the itunes shuffle tonight, cold case love – loving that one right now. de-stressing from the day, actually realised something today that is quiet shocking and sad but then life is all about meeting people and learning lessons and thats what has erased it and i can carry on being me now… good times! Yesterday at 19:31
Sam A M Décort Natalie Merchant – Carnival on the surround sound iTunes and just chilling out reading. love my quiet time by myself. The rest of the world does not exist untill 7am tomorow. Tues at 21:54
Sam A M Décort how to find the perfect man set your house on fire, call the fire brigade and lay in the garden half dressed and coughing. Mon at 20:51
Sam A M Décort Well slap me with a lettuce leaf and call me Vera! 22 November at 22:36
Sam A M Décort People who wear sunglasses on the tube are mugs. 21 November at 20:34
Sam A M Décort fitttttest most gorrrrrrrrrrjus nurse he’s lookin after my dad on the ward!!!!! 21 November at 18:51
Sam A M Décort Leona Lewis’s new album this morning on the iPod ! 20 November at 08:32
Sam A M Décort just walked into a lamp post. vybz kartel on ipod this morning. 19 November at 08:28
Faulty Camel Kicked Into Hole Gets $250k
Amongst all the negative press the middle eastern states get from the western civilization, you have got to admit, they do have one hell of a sense of humor!
So I am browsing the news hourly (as I usually do) I do this religiously as I think its very important to be up to date with what’s going on around the globe, and I fell onto this article published on the BBC News website.
Stating the obvious I can tell you I nearly fell of my chair when I finished reading it! Please see below, and make sure your chair is clear of any sharp object that may hurt you should you fall from your throne!
Court Claim Over Camel Beauty
A $250,000 compensation claim has been made against Saudi Arabia’s oil giant Saudi Aramco for causing the death of a prized camel, local press reports say.
The case, to be heard on Monday, involves a three-year-old black camel which fell into a large hole dug in the desert to store crude oil.
The camel’s owner is quoted saying the beast had been entered in one of the region’s popular camel beauty pageants. The compensation claim is based on the value experts put on the camel.
The owner, Abdullah Al-Saiari, said the she-camel was grazing in a desert pasture, about 150 miles (250km) west of Ahsa, when the accident happened.
“She was part of the Camel Beauty Contest,” he said, the Saudi Gazette reported.
I actually spat my drink over my monitor when I read the “the she-camel was grazing in a desert pasture”
I find it amazing how such things are still taken very seriously in the middle east, when we have evolved into such a modern civilization technologically and socially.
So, what’s the easiest way to make $250k ? Just kick your grazing she-camel into a ditch when she’s not looking.
I bet Aramco’s finance department were not best pleased after issuing that cheque, I imagine they had the hump!
Link to the original article http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/8311277.stm



This has been a subject I have always wanted to vomit about, but I never seem to have the time or energy to sit down and abuse the keyboard, most likely because the very subject I am talking about usually dominates all the free hours I have when I am bored or just chillaxing at home.

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