I fall from a great height into an endless subconscious sea of thought where I am surrounded by dissected mismatched logic waiting to pieced back together atom by atom, and I am trapped from the surface of ‘reality’ which seems a long way up where I know the sun is shining, I can see it, I can feel the heat, If you could hear the sun it would sound like a military parade, but I cant choose to swim back up to the surface, my mind decides to do it, at any time it chooses only without warning.

So amongst my collection of what I hate to describe as ‘poetry’ that I write (yes I still have the ability to write with pen and paper, ancient I know!) when I fall into this trance thingamajig, I wrote this one on Monday and thought I would share it with you.

This, Existence, It
Here.
How do I know for sure the universe exists?
Unless I witness it through my own experience.
My eyes. The windows to all that be.
When my eyes close forever, existence will stop.
Reality is a lie. It’s not real.
Its not here.

The being, witness to what?
Why am I here, am I actually ‘alive’?
Am I really seeing, this?
How do I know, this is?

Physical is a lie
the body, flesh, soul, smell & touch
existence is nothing but imagination
the universe.
everything that is all
its ‘matter’, yet
the universe and its parents tree
is nothing but imagination
yet imagination is in the mind
and mind has nothing to do with the body
the body is physical.

Are we real?

All comments are welcome, otherwise I wouldn’t have shared this.

I wear both glasses and contact lenses, always have done from the age of 11, and every year I have been getting blinder and blinder, my eyesight is deteriorating and will continue until I eventually go blind and then will eventually have to rely on a catdogthingymagig to help me live my daily life until I eventually decided I no longer wish to breath.

However, I have been wearing contact lenses since I had sixteen rings on the tree trunk, and before that wore good old spectacles (I hate that word, it makes me think of an old man named Eunice who likes aubergines and philanthropy). From 16, it was then about style, look, and self confidence so I resorted to the microscopic magical water implants and wore daily lenses up to this moment now, in-between however wearing glasses for both the benefit of my eyes, and occasionally just wanting a break from the hassle of taking lenses in and out twice a day, because I am lazy like that and I don’t give a flying turd about admitting my laziness.

I have commeth a moment in time of absolute dismay and aghast!

Why is it every time I wear my glasses, my personality instantly switches from the normal daily intoxicated Samjam with a mouth that can fire ten years worth of military ammunition within 1.6 milliseconds at the speed of light, and with the power of spectacles transform to a personality that of a middle classed man named Giles who has the appearance and mentality of a temazepam overdosed haematologist that has the same sense of humour as a tin of corned beef?

Weird, I know! I even tried to manipulate it by telling myself nothing has changed except the fact I can see better, but no, what’s left of my brain didn’t listen to me and I suddenly became very quiet and chilled out, increased productivity at work, concentration increased dramatically, and somehow my accent switched from my natural uncontrollable “Norf London innit” accent, to that of a middle class man brought up posh but lived in north London for a while!

I am genuinely freaked out by this, and no matter how I try to manipulate my subconscious into thinking nothing has changed except a slight improvement in sight correction, I just cant be how I normally am, its like the film The Mask with Jim Carey, except its not the magical mask ime wearing, it’s a pair of £500 Emporio Armani goggles I purchased from Vision Express.

If anyone reading this has experienced the same thing please please please please please comment on this post or email me, or send a message by carrier pigeon if you have to, because I have never heard of anybody else having the same experience.

So now you can vote and give me your opinion on this anonymously…….

If they do carry out the sentance, despite the appeals made by the British government, this will be political suidide for China, and will just demonstrate how backwards their government is when it comes to handing out justice appropriately.

The idiots.

I had to post this photo because i think she is absolutley stunning here, if i ever had a wife, she would either be Sophie, or look exactly like her in this picture.

So please watch it, because the best points of this video is towards the end, but it wont make sense unless you watch it from the begining.

All comments are welcome positive or negative.

Enjoy

(bear in mind this is a complete contradiction to my last post regarding Facebook lol)

Sam A M Décort Rhiana’s new collection of vommits on the itunes shuffle tonight, cold case love – loving that one right now. de-stressing from the day, actually realised something today that is quiet shocking and sad but then life is all about meeting people and learning lessons and thats what has erased it and i can carry on being me now… good times! Yesterday at 19:31

Sam A M Décort Natalie Merchant – Carnival on the surround sound iTunes and just chilling out reading. love my quiet time by myself. The rest of the world does not exist untill 7am tomorow. Tues at 21:54

Sam A M Décort how to find the perfect man set your house on fire, call the fire brigade and lay in the garden half dressed and coughing. Mon at 20:51

Sam A M Décort Well slap me with a lettuce leaf and call me Vera! 22 November at 22:36

Sam A M Décort People who wear sunglasses on the tube are mugs. 21 November at 20:34

Sam A M Décort fitttttest most gorrrrrrrrrrjus nurse he’s lookin after my dad on the ward!!!!! 21 November at 18:51

Sam A M Décort Leona Lewis’s new album this morning on the iPod ! 20 November at 08:32

Sam A M Décort just walked into a lamp post. vybz kartel on ipod this morning. 19 November at 08:28

I don’t get paid till this friday, so i need somebody to lend me some money until friday so i can buy this car, if you can front £2m for me i will be a very happy boy.

Since the boom of social networking somewhere around 1995 when the concept was exposed to a wider volume of internet users we now are beyond the point of no return where an individual in the “western world” cannot completely feel at ease be it socially or professionally without having some form of ‘user profile’ published somewhere on the internet where it is open to be viewed by anybody in the world.

My own generation now known as the “facebook babies” have all experienced life before social networking sites like Facebook, Bebo, MySpace, Wayne etc, yet now the majority of these “facebook babies” would find it hard to keep their social ‘status’ without the use of such websites and networks, which I think is somewhat concerning in so many ways that I am a little surprised it’s not written or talked about as much as I feel it should be.

So to lay down the facts and to get straight to the point of what I am writing about, lets take a look at what YOU, yes you publish about yourself on the internet at some point or another, maybe not on one particular website or social networking utility (maybe several) and see how much personal information we actually make public to anybody who can read or hear, and what I think is quiet scary at the least, to anybody with any agenda or mental state.

We publish:

• Our favourite movies
• Our Address
• Our favourite books
• Our favourite Music
• Our home town
• Our Phone number
• Our email addresses
• Our club memberships
• Our jobs
• Our Education History
• Our Dates of birth
• Our Sexual Orientation
• Our Interests
• Our Daily Schedules
• Our Relations to friends
• Our pictures and photographs
• Our Personal Videos
• Our Political Affiliations
• What we are doing at any time during the day.

Now the only way I can attempt to make you see what I am seeing here, is to ask you to take a second and do the following,

Remember any movie or TV programme that was either based upon a character that was working for a government department, such as the police, the security services such as MI5/6, FBI, CIA, FSB, GIA, NSA etc.

The plot is to track down a criminal, to find out as much information about that person as possible to help solve the problem, now the way to get this information about the bad guy/girl is to look on a DATABASE. Usually a government database such as criminal records, intelligence databases etc, and we always star in amazement when we watch the scene on the television when the good guys type in this person’s name, and BOOM! Like magic, everything about the bad person appears on their database. Their eye colour, height, allergies, professions, financial status, friends, photos, videos, actually everything I have bulleted above!………. Now are you seeing my point?

It was, at one point a fountain of information held on individuals that could only be accessed by people that were doing it for the “right reasons”, to protect and to serve their community, such delicate information that only people in high positions could only access because it was so personal. Only now we don’t need these databases to be so protected and treated as delicate and respected the privacy of the person this information was about, because we volunteer this information to anybody who wants to read it.

All in the name of social networking?

People bang on about Facebook’s privacy policy which states that once we upload any information about ourselves we no longer have the right to revoke that information submitted and we automatically grant facebook the exclusive rights to use that information for any purposes they deem fit, oh including using your photographs without your permission too. But what these people blissfully ignore is that this information cannot be treated with such delicate hands because the users give too much personal information away on purpose, and for the purpose of making it public (that could be public to the entire world, or to other user accounts/people that person has granted permission to view their own profiles).

So that big secret database we all get paranoid about when we think about it, that database that when we think about the information other people have on us makes the hairs on our arm stand on end, isn’t as top secret as we all thought, and why?

Because we knowingly upload all this information about ourselves into the public domain.

Could this be because we are all widely exposed to a celebrity obsessed world that we are now comfortable with sharing our personal lives with the rest of the world like these so called “celebrities” do on reality TV?

Maybe we’re all just getting too comfortable, something for you to think about. (And me too!).

So really, our governments don’t need to have an extensive secret network of databases on every single citizen, because now, they have facebook!

Over & Out

So I am browsing the news hourly (as I usually do) I do this religiously as I think its very important to be up to date with what’s going on around the globe, and I fell onto this article published on the BBC News website.

Stating the obvious I can tell you I nearly fell of my chair when I finished reading it! Please see below, and make sure your chair is clear of any sharp object that may hurt you should you fall from your throne!

Court Claim Over Camel Beauty

A $250,000 compensation claim has been made against Saudi Arabia’s oil giant Saudi Aramco for causing the death of a prized camel, local press reports say.

“She was part of the Camel Beauty Contest,” he said, the Saudi Gazette reported.
I actually spat my drink over my monitor when I read the “the she-camel was grazing in a desert pasture”

I find it amazing how such things are still taken very seriously in the middle east, when we have evolved into such a modern civilization technologically and socially.

So, what’s the easiest way to make $250k ? Just kick your grazing she-camel into a ditch when she’s not looking.

I bet Aramco’s finance department were not best pleased after issuing that cheque, I imagine they had the hump!

Link to the original article http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/8311277.stm

Oh yeah! I am being serious, I am on the train this morning sitting at the front, the train was so packed I could tell you intimate details of each passengers body that only their “loved ones” would know, I am shuffling my iPod as usual and at the stop before mine, a middle-aged gentleman boards the peasant wagon, jumps to a seat that someone has just got up from, and he decides to assume the lotus position (See example below) and puts one arm on each leg with fingers together, eyes closed, and decides to let out a loud constant hum!

Now everybody else is looking at this guy in complete disbelief, his appearance was the same mundane dress ware everybody else was wearing, the suit, tie, briefcase, and he is sitting on a packed train humming loudly cross legged with not a care in the world about what people think of it.

Weirdness! Really weird!

So the postal strike is back on, and yet again the post office depot across my office has their selfish employees outside with a table handing out leaflets reasoning why they should have more money, less working days etc and they have the banners set up behind them duct-taped to the brick wall behind them. Now I have looked at the unions websites, and Royal mail’s websites and I am fairly confident I know what they are striking for, but what these people don’t realize, is that as we are still in an economic tidal wave, and the UK has the highest rate of unemployment for almost 50 years, and the highest rate of 16-25 year olds than ever before, and these people who actually want to work, they are trying their best and more to get into employment, and they cant because there are no vacancies due to businesses cutting down the workforce and budgets etc, yet almost 60% of the employees working for Royal mail are striking and refusing to work because they want more money for working less hours and want everything to go their way. Now I think this is the most selfish and inconsiderate action they can take at this moment in time considering they are throwing their toys out the pram because they want their jobs to be so easy and earn more for working less, I see this as a kick in the teeth for those who are struggling to even get into the most basic entry levels of employment. There are millions of people across the UK and abroad that would be more than willing to take over the jobs of those who are striking at Royal mail, and would not be so selfish and greedy, because they value the fact they are in a job and earning money for themselves rather than relying on the government to give them pennies each week. Royal mail really should consider the performance levels of the staff that are striking and present an ultimatum to them where they have the right to strike but in a strategic manor that does not create loss of earnings across and throughout the UK, and causing unnecessary disruption to the entire population, and make them aware that these selfish assholes are not indispensable and can be very easily replaced and very quickly too.

In all honesty, my experience of Royal mail has never been satisfactory, the telephone lines ask you to go through 13 options before presented with another 13 options and then again another 12 options only to be told “Sorry! Were busy right now, please try again later”, the customer service is utterly shit with no regard for the customers who pay decent money to use their “reliable” service, and the attitudes of their staff is disgusting too. They never deliver goods on time, they do not take good care of packages being sent within the UK, and their prices are now extortionate, and for what? So they can get paid to sit outside the depots on their asses crying because they want it to be so easy and less hard work for more money?

Royal Mail should be nationalized and state run rather than act as a private company, because if they collapse, the entire UK would fall apart not only financially, but it would also give other delivery companies the chance to take advantage of desperate customers wanting to get something from A to B by charging unbelievable prices for the same service that would have cost £3 !!!

These assholes need to look at their current performance and working attitudes before they ask for anything else that they are not currently getting from their employers.

Bitch fit over.

“Carbon Footprint”, “Being Green”, “Co2 Emissions”, “Global Warming”, “CO2 has got to GO!!” two words I have to say regarding these stupid phrases and they are as follows. F**k Off! (And I am not joking either).

I have never understood why such a small selected number of people feel the need to devote their entire life to screaming as loud as they possibly can about something they are not completely educated on themselves, but will make it top priority to disrupt other peoples lives and do anything they can by adopting any method they deem effective enough to mould everybody else into their own ideal human being in the name of “Saving the planet”.

Businesses are facing financial ruin, individual people, not only those in high positions but everybody on all levels are being targeted and having abuse directed towards not only them but their families any anybody else associated with them because these eco-friendly assholes think its their job to save the planet from ruin caused by us so called ‘selfish’ people who they think don’t care at all about any damage we cause to ‘this planet’ by asking for a plastic fucking bag from Tesco’s for 14 items that are genuinely heavy and cannot be held all at the same time to carry home! i am not asking for a nuclear bomb to transport my food shopping from the shop to the house by teleporting them.

A plastic bag is not going to cause this Earth to blow up, Having my washing machine on at any temperature above 0’c is not going to melt the entire Greenland Ice Sheet, putting my central heating on for 3 hours a night when its freezing cold even when I am wearing a jacket inside the house (and I don’t wear it to be ‘eco’ friendly, I wear it to save money on overpriced gas & electric, you dickheads) is not going to increase the entire planets sea levels by 4 Meters causing the entire Maldives to disappear quicker than David Cameron in Dalston market, so stop sending me emails, sending messages through television, internet and other forms of mass media, and stop protesting at train stations every fucking month because you think the trains electric consumption is so tragically environmentally damaging, you make me late for work you selfish inconsiderate turnips!

I am a scientific person always have been and always will be. I know the facts of ‘global warming’ and yes I am more than aware of how new technology is increasingly causing more damage to the environment than it naturally should, but your also forgetting that the earth has been here for billions of years, and changes itself every second of the day and will continue to do so for billions of years to come.

I firmly believe that we are NOT destroying this planet, we are simply causing more damage to the natural environment humans need to survive, despite the natural damage caused every second of every day be it by volcanic activity, natural weather causing damage to shoreline homes and communities, earthquakes, continents constantly shifting from left to right and up and down etc, I think your getting my point now.

Earth was the most uninhabitable planet in our solar system when it first formed, over 4.54 billion years ago, and it constantly changed every million or so years to adapt new environments that forms of life would survive and other forms would not, and it will always be this way, the earth is always changing, ice ages, outer space objects colliding with the Earth, sea levels always increasing and decreasing in size, etc, we are not causing the destruction of this planet, its doing it very well by itself, as it always has done, we are just causing extra stress to the environment humans need to survive and other species too, but not every species needs this current environment to survive in.

So please, feel free to go to your GP, and ask for some diazepam (Valium) and some low strength anti-psychotics to control your little outbursts, and then piss off back to your eco friendly green caravans on the disused industrial estates, and stop causing unnecessary stress and pain for the people that just want to live a normal peaceful life that do not intentionally strive to cause environmental disaster each time they want to keep warm in the winter, or pickup some food from Tesco’s, or need to wash their children’s clothes that are soaked in mud/paint (or to be more accurate of today’s generation, soaked with blood and bullet holes).

Go and devote your enthusiasm and passion to other forms of science, or even possibly helping the third world ( I hate using that term) to have easier access to the most basic of materials needed to survive.

For reference, I have provided a link to Wikipedia’s page on the planet Earth for those of you should you wish to learn more about the subject. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earth

What made me decide to do this is the million dollar question because I don’t know the answer but I will tell you what I have done and what I am vomiting about now!

After three years of wearing contact lenses, I have decided to go back to glasses, and thought it would be a very good idea to have a change, a significant change, which I always need to make at least once a month, so now I am wearing glasses.

Only thing is, my glasses cost more than a mortgage payment, and now I am skint (until the end of the month) but I can see, so that’s the most important thing.

The funniest thing happened today, my sister calls me to say she is in town and to go round and meet her at my dads house, so I did, and we did the whole hello how are you thing and it was nice, and played around with my nephew whose nine years old, and as I go, they decide to walk back with me to see my flat, but before that, she wanted to nock on my dads neighbours door to say hello, so she did and its all “yeah nice to see ya darling” etc etc and then my nine year old nephew looks up at the neighbour and says “ Oh my god mum is she the girl from White Chicks?” Needless to say I was almost on the floor with laughter, causing pain I never knew laughter could cause!

Just in case you have not seen the film, I have a picture below!

Thought I would share that with you until I write a proper post!

Writers block is a bitch! Seriously – one has been overcome with a sudden bout of dyslexia, written and oral and all cognitive functions of my brain have been impaired. By what you ask? Fuck knows. Let’s just call it life.

As I am writing this verbal vommit that has been brewing for over a week, now i am experiencing an influx of topics that have entered the ‘word-lottery’ taking place in my head right now, but i will stick to my original intent.

Something I noticed recently which has caught my attention, I say only just noticed but I have always noticed it taking place, only now it’s just too ‘potent’ to not write about!

I don’t understand why, when a person tries to impress another person, or in layman’s terms, makes the decision to take a life-long vow to kiss that persons ass….

Why do they imitate that person in any way shape or style they feel confident is close enough to the real thing?

If the ‘ass-kisser’ really has no concept of who they are, or what they stand for, the way they talk, their mannerisms, their thoughts, their fashion, their beliefs, their sexuality etc if that person genuinely does not want to accept themselves, why do they feel the need to create a duplicate of somebody who does?

Now, most people would think after reading that, why do you let it bother you? Or who cares, you know who you are so don’t worry about anybody else, but the reason I bring this topic to surface, is because it is now at a level where the ‘ass-kisser’s (there is more than one) impeccable observation of their ‘target’ has reached such a stupid and ridiculous level of this “duplication” that when I am around these people, I CRINGE with embarrassment for them, because it is so visible, and noticeable that I know for a fact I am not the only person in the same environment to have noticed it.

Below, is an example of what the ‘ass-kisser’s have changed about themselves in order to imitate their ‘target’.

• Increase in swearing, aggressiveness, and direct approach to people

• Changed all words the ass kisser always says to the words their target says

• The way they walk, and posture (Seriously, Not Joking)

• What they talk about in conversations, sudden interest in topics they previously disliked or had no interest in before they started kissing ass

• Statuses, taglines, and messages on social networks like MSN Messenger, Facebook, Hotmail, etc.

• Co-incidentally is involved in the same activity/scenario/event/situation that their target has recently been involved with, that the person would never have before

The list is endless, and its starting to irritate me, if I am really honest, which I always am (its one of my bad qualities) I think its pathetic, immature, very sad, and these people need to take some time out to investigate their own personalities, qualities and beliefs, rather than acting like a nine year old schoolgirl trying to ‘fit in’ to the school bitch group.

Another thing that has also become visible to the magical human gift of sight, is the length that some isolated individuals your surrounded by (Friends, colleagues, family) will go to, in order to try and “get one-up” on you for what ever ridiculous unreasonable paranoid reason they have. So for this, I will say the following,

Your observation of that person, your perception, knowledge, idea of who they are, your assumptions, your paranoid opinions, your jealousy and whatever you think that person believes about themselves or anything else related to that person as an individual, is completely biased, unfounded, and completely way of the mark unless you have approached that person directly before passing judgment and deciding to let the concrete set on your paranoid opinion, you really cannot justify the act of distributing your own “opinions” to other people so you can fulfil your desire to change everybody else’s opinion to that which you have re-created because you feel that yours is correct. I suggest that those people who possess these qualities and are more than ready to use them, go and create a religion somewhere, they will be very successful at it.

Fenugreek? What the fuck is that? Why has that word just entered my brain?

There is no purpose to the above bit I was just opening MS Word to write a post for JB (Jittahbug) and that word just came into my head even now I am writing this sentence (YES THIS SENTENCE) I am still baffled and bemused!!! I didn’t even hear anybody say it on TV or anything, I just said out loud in my head “FENUGREEK”.

I am not lying and I have not written that purposely, it really did just enter my head. Cart me off, now! That is soooo weird!

Anyway back to biznizz.

So I go to canary wharf after work pop into Next, eye flirt with the suits, escape with my wallet in the same condition it was pon entering said store, and then remember I need to get some special queen paper that has numbers on it, so I go into Citibank, and as yours truly ventures forth pon de marble slats that is the floor of the wharf, I get into a bit of a pickle!

Not only did I get into a bit of a pickle, but I was also forcibly jammed between a pickle, onion, mustard, massacred cow fanny between what resembled a burger bun, and oh yeah, did I forget to mention it was all hanging loose from ONE of the 3 trillion chins that were attached to what I believe was the unidentified remains of what I can only assume at some point in history was a human face attached to a very very very very large obese ball of human FAT with two stumps that had fossilised 1980’s Reebok trainers on?

Two inconsiderate canary-wharf-bound fuckers decided to walk so close to the door of the bank that I got jammed between the two trying to make a swift exit before Abbey National recall my debit card, and these two inconsiderate talking eating space hoppers didn’t even think to spray themselves with three pallets of WD40 or Kerosene so normal messed up folk can get pass?

Anyway I couldn’t say anything to them because If I did I would only have been expressing my anger to a giant chin, so there was no point, I buggered off to home and then decided before I do that I will pop into Tesco’s to get some bits for work, and then this happened…………..

“Unexpected item in bagging area” “unexpected item in bagging area”
“Unexpected item in bagging area” “unexpected item in bagging area”
“Unexpected item in bagging area” “unexpected item in bagging area”
“Unexpected item in bagging area” “unexpected item in bagging area”
“Unexpected item in bagging area” “unexpected item in bagging area”

Which resulted in me saying out loud (Louder than I thought as I had Leona Lewis held hostage in my ipod)

“YEAH IT’S A BAG YOU FUCKING TROLLOP”

I was actually really annoyed as the checkout kept saying it, and I turned round after I said it and saw the checkout guy (the ones who supervise the self checkouts from their little podium at the end) pissing himself laughing, which resulted in me saying to the checkout guy:

“what you laughing at, you been sting there the whole time and you let the robo-bitch keep telling me there’s an unexpected item in bagging area, which was a dam carrier bag?

He laughed a bit more, which then, I had no choice but to laugh with him, but only out of frustration!

Anyways, I would tell you more about the day/week I have had but my sleeping pills are nicely creeping up on me now and I needed to go offline now anyway as I plan on sitting in my wardrobe trying to find Narnia again.